José Mourinho Storms Out of Post-Match Interview Following Bournemouth Draw

Oh, José, never change | MATT DUNHAM/Getty Images

You know when your mum phones when you’re in the middle of something, whether it’s a game of FIFA or a lunchtime nap, and you can’t really be bothered, but you answer anyway in case it’s important?

But then her tone suggests it is not important in the slightest, and you just want to get back to whatever important business you’ve got on. Excuses are made, white lies are told, relieved sighs are had when the call is hung up.

Yeah, imagine that, but instead of you it’s José Mourinho, and instead of your mum it’s’s Spurs correspondent Alasdair Gold.

As interview questions go, you’d think something as simple as ‘hello José, can you hear me?’ is about as inoffensive as it gets; but the Tottenham boss had other ideas.

‘No’, he answers, creating a bizarre paradox, explainable only by the possibility that he could in fact hear poor Alasdair; he just couldn’t be bothered.

And, to be fair, he had good reason. His side’s 0-0 draw with Bournemouth was one of the worst games of football we’ve seen post-lockdown – truly saying something considering how low the bar had been set by that Merseyside derby. Mourinho’s team failed to muster a single shot on target against the struggling Cherries, and were bailed out of defeat only by VAR, as the technology ruled out Callum Wilson’s late goal.

You only have to look at a map of the Spurs’ players average positions to see how things went for the north Londoners. Only Giovani Lo Celso spent more time out of his own half than in it.

A tenner goes to anyone who can spot Harry Kane. Oh wait, there he is.

At least this documentary is going to make for some spectacular viewing…